Poyo, geli, tapi semua orang rasa. Kisah crush budak2.

Saw you from a distance
I know I had no chance
Have got no valid reason to remember you
But you are one of the kind
And wonders made you stay in my mind

First sight, in a gymnasium
Where it suddenly felt like city of love called Rome
I were doing the sit up
But all my senses caught you up
As you instructed me to hurry up

Added you in Facebook profile
I stalked you but I never went wild
Oh, you have got a girlfriend but never mind
Because I have never thought that you can ever be mine

You wear Chuck Taylor
You play Soccer
You wear cap
You read LejenPress and I knew you put on ur thinking cap
You drive Viva
Your favourite football player is Di Maria

You play guitar                                                    You have camera                                                You capture beautiful things                               You are a good writer                                             So well, I know you are writing those beautiul words for her

I know I made a good FBI agent
Dun blame me, because you yourself was a legend
You have what I am looking in a man
But hey, one day I will have my own man

Thanks for all this time
You have been so kind
Its okay if you dont know or remember me
As long as I am happy
That we did share something in common
As long as I am happy
About you giving me some likes and comments on my chuck taylor picture
on my instagram

Love could stay one way
But it gets more beautiful if it goes reciprocal
I would go my own unique way
Pray for me that my way go all magical (:

Goodluck and goodbye
I promise this will forever stay in past tense
But you must stay the way you are.
Take care.

Background music : "Aku yang Asing." - Hujan

London. Paris

http://hilmivanhalen.blogspot.com/2011/03/suatu-petang-di-opisku-october-2010.html

terhingin beno p these two places.
tapi ongkosnya tedaaaa bah,.

It comes and maybe will go. (:

The sudden smiling
The giddy feeling
The heart beating
The tickling
All over the body, attacking
When i saw u coming.

You?
Who are you?

Of what we have. - Lesson Learnt POST- Program Anak Angkat.

In my whole lifetime,
Aku joined 2 kali program anak angkat.
But yang kedua tu baru ade efek kat aku.
Yang 1st tu fail sebab masa tue aku budak hingusan sgt lagi,
Otak fail bfungsi dengan deepnya.

Aku p September lepas, 3 hari je pun,
But bnyk benda aku belajar dari family ini, as in family angkat aku.

Background in brief,
ayah angkat nelayan,
ibu angkat suri rumah sambil buka kedai jajan depan umah,
anak2 muda2 da ada yg da kerja,
cuz xsemua ad peluang belajar yang baik.

Rumah batu,  kampung style, tiled, besar lagi dari umah aku beb.
1st impression masuk umah dia, bau ikan. Pungent.

Member aku masuk n kata "Cantiknya umah mak!"
Ohh sungguh betoi nak amik hati.

Lepas tu masuk bilik ayo,
Mengerekot kaki aku.
Berpijak atas lantai berlendir,
sesungguhnya aku geli.

Aku dengan beraninya suggest kat member aku untuk bawak masuk selipar (bersih n baru)
Buat alas kami dalam bilik ayo tu.
Lagi3 berani kami tanya dekat mak, minta izin nak bawak masuk selipar.

Mak dengan rileks nya kata " Lah..pakai je la...buat je la apa2 benda kamu suka dalam rumah ni..benda baik xkan mak nak matah..." kata mak dengan nada penuh ikhlas, siap senyum lagi.

Aku ingat dia akan terasa
Or at least, tunjuk expression yang dia x stuju ke hape dgn kitorg
But, she's so cool, siap boleh senyum manis lagi.

Nak dijadikan cerita,
Besok tu lepas habis je program anak angkat ne,
Aku n member melawat lagi umah mak.
Sebab nak celebrate bday mak. Sweet?

N da tentu2 lah aku tumpang bilik ayo,
N aku perasan segala lendir all gone.
Mak gonyoh kot? Maybe baru ada masa kot?
Ade kaitan ke dgn anak2 mak ne?

Kesimpulannya, lesson dia is mak sedia menerima "teguran" dgn hati terbuka. Salute beb.

Lesson 2, aku perasan family ne mungkin xsenang mana,  (mungkin ada aset tanah, pelaburan, we never know), tapi tgok dari mata kasar, mereka kategori ok2la.
Sungguhpun x senang mana, tapi mereka sangat menyenangkan kitorg,
Aku xcakap mereka susah,
N BIG probably mereka x rasa pun yang mereka ne susah.
Tapi aku leh kerat jari ramai akan kata mereka org susah.
Aku sumpah terharu dengan effort yang  dorang buat untuk kitorg untuk pastikan kitorg cukup makan, cukup hiburan, cukup bersosial, cukup solat, dan cukup segala2 lah.

Dan yang paling obvious, they tried their best with all they can do. (:
Dorang xmelebih2. Dorang buat dengan apa yang dorang mampu.
Malam last kitorg p lepak kat satu lakegarden ni
Yang aku kira, setengah jam kot dari umah family.
Kami naik van ok, 10 orang satu van, or 13, campur mak, ayah , adik bongsu kat depan.
kau imagine?
Meredah malam yang masa tu kul 10 kot
Ayah bawak dgn steady je, bawak kitorg tgok lampu
N yes, aku enjoy duk tepi tingkap yg boleh tolak2 mcm dalam bas oldskool.
Angin tampar2 muka, fuhhh enjoy,
Rasa roller coaster sekejap.

Sampai kat sana, duduk sembang,
Somehow aku rasa pointless juga,
Nak sembang di umah pun syok,
lagi pun aku da biasa p ,lakegarden
Bosan je.
Lagi satu, aku dah diajar, lau sembang, mesti ada makanan, baru rancak.
Tu la, amende punye pelajaran yg aku dapat, ish3.
So deep down inside,
aku ada la ingat yang family ne akan stop kat kedai tomyam ke
mamak ke,
minum teh tarik ke at least,
boleh aku tgok giroud, sebab time tue ada match arsenal kot,
Tapi rupa2nya x,
Aku terkesima.

Mungkin dorang mampu je nak payung 13 perut,
or maybe dorang rasa xperlu kot nak makan time2 pukul 11 mcm tue,
mcm2 la aku fikir,
tapi kemudian aku marah diri sendiri,
lain orang lain cara,
Ini cara family ini.
Kenapa mereka susah2 bawak kami ronda2
dan duduk bual2 dekat lakegarden tue
untuk masa , ada kot setengah jam je pun

Sebab pa, untuk kami la wehhh

Ini baru dua event, macam2 lagi event aku nak tulis tapi x tercatit,
Somehow ada dalam kepala n hati aku.

Aku perasan keluarga ni happy, ceria,
N happy tu bukan pasal duit, OBVIOUSLY.
Dorang hidup dengan cara dorang,
Kerja kopek kerang yang orang biasa xpandang lagi perlekeh tue,
Enjoy je aku tgok dorang buat,
Aku siap bole tarik kerusi, kopek sekali sampai luka jari, but aku happy.
Dan dorang sentiasa IKHLAS nak share happiness tu dgn orang lain dengan cara diorang sendiri.
The family bond is beautiful.

LESSON LEARNT.

HAPPINESS MIGHT COMES OUT OF $$$.
BUT $$$ IS NOT EVERYTHING

ZDA, XPERLU GILA GAJET SGT OK.
ZDA, XPERLU GILA BAJU SGT OK.
ZDA, XPERLU GILA EVENT N TRAVEL SGT OK.
KAU TU STUDENT, BUKAN ORANG SENANG.
DUIT BANYAK NAK PAKAI KAN,
JGN SALAH GUNA,

ZDA , U CAN MAKE OUT UR OWN HAPPINESS WITH WHAT U ALREADY HAVE
.

Dedicated to Ayah, the hero that always fight against, not fight for.

Weekend, 14-16/9
I went to Kuala Sepetang,
port ikan, ketam, udang, kerang.
they fed me with abundance of seafood,
sampai aku lupa daratan kot.

Balik ke darat,
I spot some visible spots on my feet,
Mula2 putih,
lama2 gatal,
alih2 dah jadi merah,
Maka konfemla aku ter-alergik gedik juga.

Hajat di hati mau manja2 terusla call ibu.
Tanya khabar, "mom, how r u ?"
Ibu jawab ok, along pulak how?
I jawab x ok sebab gegatal kekaki ne ibu ow.

Dah habis sesi bercerita saya,
Tiba2 ibu pulak bukak cerita,
yang ayah baru lepas medical checkup,
baru dapat tahu b.p dia sampai 200 lebih

Heart attack sekejap,
Xdapat bercakap,
ayah selama ni sihat walafiat,
sekarang usia da meningkat,
penyakit pulak datang melawat.

Mengenangkan ayah yang sekarang travel uruskan kakak dia yang sedang sakit,
hati sakit, mata pun perit,
ibu pulak buat ayat,
darah tinggi ne boleh buat kena strok,
ayah sakit2 pun tetap masih sibuk.

Aku anak sulung,
tua aje tapi x matang,
sekarang risau bukan kepalang,
kalau ayah sakit dan terhalang,
di rumah siapa mahu jadi hulubalang?

Ibu cerita, ayah dah mula jaga makan,
makan makanan tidak lagi bersantan,
dulunya nasi, sekarang dah ber-oat,
roti canai tanpa kuah kari ditelan masuk perut.

Kasihan mendengar,
Risau membayang,
Teringat betapa kuatnya si along melawan ayah,
Baran ayah punca mungkin anak2.
Berjurai kolam air mata.

Ibu berpesan,
Nanti pulang,
Kurangkan bergaduh,
Beralah lah dengan ayah.
Supaya tenang hati dan jiwanya,
Supaya terjaga kesihatannya,
Panjang usianya,
InshaAllah.

Now, along should fight for the sole ayah,
Now, along should no longer fight against the only ayah.

Doa.

Quickie Budak Degil yang Dah Dapat apa yang dia nak.

Alhamdulillah.
Thanks to Allah.
Now, the main wish is finally granted.

I know what I want.
I am clear of what I am doing.

I am happy as I earn what I work hard for.

Sekarang, L da lelong.
Kita ganti dengan SP.
Dengan harapan, SP akan kekal bertahun tahun tahun tahun tahun lamanya.
Moga cinta dan rasa sayang ini berkekalan.

Dengan harapan, hati ini kenal erti puas.
Agar tiada lagi keluhan bila baca review, spec, buat comparison,
Agar tiada lagi rasa gelisah bila tengok teknologi yang lebih maju.

Should be happy with what you have,
Do not concentrate on what you don't have. (:

P/S: Blame the LED TRANSPARENT ILLUMINATION that make me drool all over it.

Blame this PIX , the first mo I saw this, I fell in love, love at first sight.

Quickie budak Degil.

Hi. Im very stubborn.
It runs in my blood,
If I rely my eyes on something,
which means I like it,
I must get it.
In no matter way.
I am very stubborn.

Sometimes, God has made some things and ones are not meant for us,
There is a need for  accepting
As God knows what is best for you.
People call this as 'redha'
But some stubborn head regard it as giving up.

I may not know
But sometimes I feel that when I dont get what I want
I try to be happy with what I have
But the stubborn me always looking up over something that I marvel yet I cant have
So stubborn, now so not thankful.

Even worse,
Sometimes I felt a pang of regret
Yet I cant blame
But I cant never lie
I am stubborn, if I cant get you, I marvel over you.
I am in the end, an idiot.

OH NO I MUST GET YOU

I should have bought Xperia SP, NOT Xperia L!

Cancer, the story I see.

Cancer.
Where there is no real cure.
The treatment offered isnt able to cure but usually just to dampen the growth of the cancerous cell, lengthen the period of life, giving u a hopeful 1-2 months.
N even the chemo, the drugs given sometimes got too strong they even kills or alter the structure of the cells. Adala family aku was diagnosed ada ketumbuhan pada pangkal ketiak n dadanya.
It was luckily discovered fast (belom masuk stage yg dasat2) but then the aftereffect was devastating,
Rambut dia yang dulunya lurus now has becoming some weird curls on her. See the changes?

Entahla, aku penah terbaca artikel pasal GANJA/ CANNABIS (yg falls under dadah berbahaya) boleh direbus, n then diminum untuk bunuh sel kanser. Benda ne diamalkan oleh org Mongol n yg propose n perjuang benda ne ialah Bob Marley n kroni.
Aku xtau ini sekadar propa nak go against domestic drugs industry
or it really works.
Kalau ada alternatif, no harm trying kan? Tapi kalao ko baru simpan berapa gram pun ko da kena charge, how do we do?



Back to the aftereffect, lepas dia undergone treatment dia jadi agresif n suka marah2.
Maybe badan dia letih n rasa x selesa tue dia cepat marah.
Aku x tau ini ada kaitan dgn aftereffect ke x...one day dia kena attack stroke...
mulut dia senget for a week...n after that she recovered (not so) and her lips was back to normal
Good to see the physical changes..tapi kita even d doc pun xtau aktiviti apa je yg da jadi dalam otak dia..
From my experience dgn dia, aku observe dia jadi more aggressive, cepat sangsi...kalao ada orang call..even the call xde kaitan pun dgn dia..dia akan tanya aku sapa call..org tue nak apa...sapa kawan aku yg call tue.
and she always ask us repeated questions mcm ye ke? xkan la mcm tue? see how suspicious she wud be...
n when she is trying to find something,
like she remember placing her necklace atas meja tue,
but then bila cari2 xjumpa,
dia akan jadi sangat panik, body temp dia shoot up, nafas dia mengah2 mcm baru lepas berlari.
she cant stay calm.

there r cases when she claims she is seeing something . n time dia cakap tue masa kat bilik aku kat umah. hish. dah macam para2 sakura activity.
She cant sleep with lights closed
N if really possible, dia nak tidur berteman
n there r times kalao xde teman, dia akan nangis, or stay up whole night until la dia fall asleep bila da pagi.

but despite that, dia punya memori yg sangat kuat,
walaupun x dapat cakap dalam struktur ayat yg betul, tapi kitorg leh tangkap apa yg dia cuba nak cakap
n she can even show us directions to tmpat yg berpuluh tahun dia x pegi
n she can rmb in detail events bila dia pegi somewhere, dgn sapa,
n good she knows us, her family well. (:
so jangan fikir ko leh tipu dia or fool her around!

N yknow to take care of orang mcm ne mmg perlu kesabaran.
Aku ne boleh tahan kurang sabar.
My ayah lagilah tahapnya sabar agak tipis belum dicampur baran tahap super saiyanya. hehe.
My mom  la yg paling sabar layan kerenah n prepare what is good for her.
Thanks to Allah she had recovered A LOT

Now that she can even manage herself. (da x takut tido sndiri, basuh baju sndiri n so n so)
But sometimes, the degil aftereffect tetap ada. haha
Sometimes it is funny to find her arguing with my father.
Contohnya, kitorg jalan2 dekat mall, n when it comes to time balik,
ayah aku kata jom balik, jalan cepat skit...
she said ya, but she still berlenggang di belakang dgn selamba masih tgok2 barang sdngkan kami dah 500m di hadapan.
Bila bagi arahan, dia akan kata ya, tapi respon nya lama baru keluar.

Masa mudanya, she spent lots on cosmetic ranging from safi,  amway, even tried out sk2 and clinique yg mmg aku lalu n jeling je lah kat kiosk dia. haha. brand2 impian setiap wanita sejati kot tue.
Katanya, bcuz of using too much brands and this products la dia leh terkena ketumbuhan. She even drink n ate supplements which is believed to do good but then still we never know it will end up like this.
Lagi satu, maybe sebab keturunan pun ye jugak.
Our family has losed one becuz of this n we cannot afford to lose another. :(
Tapi kalau dah smpai masa...siapalah kita tuk berkata tak...

The thing is kena amik pengajaran la...
aku pun xtau la dgn gaya hidup xsihat aku...
makan bukan2...pakai bukan2...nti end up jadi bukan2...
skrg ne banyak sgt benda they post lam fb n blog
pearl tea cancerous la
sardin. maggi, mekdi sume penyebab kanser la
yg cancer2 ne juga la feberet aku
it is....
..

Rasa ini.

Aku ada suatu rasa...
Rasa yang aku boleh dapat
Hanya bila dengan kau.

Rasa dia sangat eksklusif...
Rasa satu dalam sejuta
Sungguh aku cuba sekuat mana tuk mencipta rasa yang sama
dengan yang lain
Tetap x sama...
Tetap x akan boleh..

Rasa yang aku ada untuk kau..
Lain.
Xberubah.
Ada benci, Ada kasih, Ada sayang, Ada cinta.
Kau fikir senang nak ada semua tue?

Sayang berjuta2 kali sayang
Sebab rasa ini xsemestinya dapat aku salurkan pada kau
Kerana telah Tuhan aturkan untuk kita
Kadang kita boleh bersama
Kadang kita tidak

Aku x minta banyak.
Hanya hargai rasa yang aku ada untuk kau.
Kalau boleh balas apa salahnya?
Hee.

Tapi sekarang, aku takut
rasa itu makin memudar.
Tapi aku yakin, dia x akan pernah lupus.
Kembalilah kalau ada jalan.
Bangkitkan semula rasa ini.
Seperti pertama kali kita bertemu dahulu.

Do you know that I love you?

To love,

is not only about being nice, 

or being treated nice.

To love,

can also be about being cruel and mean,

get each other hurt yet it is not a sin.

To love,

is to wait,

I know this is something to hate.

To love,

I know you're not perfect,

but I can't find any reason to hate.

To love,

Of course I am far from perfect.

That is why I need YOU for my life to be pretty perfect.

To love,

I hope you are listening.

Please, don't give up waiting and fighting.

To love, 

je t'aime.

Please be mine.

Only mine.

-Zda, Parisindream, March.

Bukan rasis, tapi inilah.

Recently, aku ada tolong orang jual cupcakes.
So, like it or hate it, aku p annoy tiap2 penghuni2 bilik2 tersebut.
Good and bad, aku dapat both responses.
What really counts, cakes sold out.
Peluh, mengah n air liur aku duk promo dari bilik ke bilik pays off.

Apa yang aku nak story is about the response yg aku dpt dari random chinese girls.
Dorg yg bukan classmate, bukan jiran, bukan sapa2, but satu kampus dgn aku.
Most of them bukak pintu, seems surprised n blurred.
Not lucky enough, ada yang straight away cakap "Tak apa2"
Aku bukak mulut pun xlagi. Korang buat aku mcm criminal yg tipu org lam scam gores dan menang tu pulak.
Bila aku explain "I am selling cupcakes. Interested?"
They were like "Uh?"
Aku pun tayang laa cupcakes tue.
And dorang pandang like dorang super jijik.
Wei makanan tue. Comel lagi. Problem?

Chinese in nature memang susah nak mesra unless bila ada chance korang nak kenal satu sama lain.
Kalo korg pndai akademik, sgt cun, leh belajar sama2.
But it is naturally, kao yg kena tanya dorang DULU.
If u no ask, they will no show you. ---> Benda ne my chinese friend sendiri yg bgtau direct kat aku, mang cara dorang. Seemed selfish. Tapi lao ko nak ilmu, ko lah p cari kan?
Kalao lagi pandai dari dorang, lagi peh3, dorang akan adore kao, so u got a plus point.

Tapi lao chinese yg biasanya xda kaitan...
Memang susah nak bermesra..silap2 dorg leh p tarik muka depan kao..
But not all, xleh generalize, ramai je gak yg ok2.. (:

However, my chinese fren penah story kat aku
Dorang somtimes do look down on melayu or other races.
Egocentrism la ne...(thinking they r better than others)
Ye la..balik2.straight As muka dorang...yg dominate business dorg lagi..
Mana x rasa superior kan?
And kao xpayah la nak speak english sgt dgn dorang
my frens said...if they dunno you
they wud rather speaks in malay to you
even how english you speak to them.
this is bcuz of
 two reasons:
1. dia x pandai omputeh
2. dia ingat kao x pandai omputeh
And ada juga yang kata..
Dorg chinese geli tengok malays n indians makan pakai tangan...
macam2...hahahaha

But let's be honest,
aku pun dulu masa kecik2
aku geli tengok kulit india yg hitam2 berkilat
walaupun aku pun sama hitam jugak...hahaha
aku rasa kotor n jijik
BUT
come to think of it,
sekarang ne, aku siap leh tampar2 kulit begitu, belai2
share air n makanan dengan mereka
tanpa ada rasa geli
dgn member2 indians aku
Its just stigma
Perasan yg ko buat2 sebab ko x kenal

In fact, personally aku rasa indians jauh lebih bersih
most indians yg aku jumpa n perati
dorang amat rajin bersihkan bilik
mop lantai hari2 beb..hari2...
kalao aku...seminggu sekali pun da kira seribu rahmat dah...kah3...
bilik mmg deko tahap warna warni la...ceria..
soothing je masuk bilik dorang..
tue la kao..xtau..nak geli2 pulak...
haish...
let's change n give each other chances (:

When they ask.

Some people...
when they ask..
they really seek for an ABSOLUTE, FINAL ANSWER
like..."Ko nak makan apa hari ni?"
don't u came up with "Entahlah.."
"Anything...I don't mind."
Sometimes they really need for a real suggestion
There are times when they can't decide
So, here comes your role

Some people..
when they ask..
they just want to hear an answer from your mouth
But actually they have already decided
of what to be done
and what will come next
like..."Ko nak makan apa hari ni?"
"What if we try some sushi?"
"Sushi last week kan da layan...Why don't we go for some western?"
Sometimes they just ask
So they will look diplomatic
But deep down inside
They are already sure what to be done


But still there are times when one really doesn't have the answer for the question
Like "Do we really love each other?"
The questions leave hanging.
Having the action speaks it answer.
Hurm.

Ni teori bodoh aku je. Jangan percaya sangat.

Best moments to praise over Muhammad.

Waktu Afdal Berselawat

Masa paling afdal dituntut berselawat

1.Ketika mendengar orang menyebut nama Nabi SAW.
2.Sesudah menjawab azan dan sebelum membaca doa azan.
3.Sesudah tasyahud wuduk, sebelum membaca doa.
4.Pada permulaan, pertengahan dan penutup doa.
5.Di akhir qunut dalam solat.
6.Di dalam solat jenazah.
7.Di antara takbir solat hari raya.
8.Ketika masuk dan keluar dari masjid.
9.Setiap waktu pagi dan petang.
10.Hari Khamis malam Jumaat,
11.Sepanjang hari Jumaat,
12.Ketika telinga berdesing.
13.Ketika terlupa sesuatu perkara.
14.Ketika mengalami kesusahan dan kebimbangan.
15.Ketika memulakan sesuatu pekerjaan yang baik atau penting.
16.Masa menghadiri tempat perhimpunan yang baik.
17.Waktu meninggalkan sesuatu majlis.
20.Ketika berziarah di makam Rasulullah SAW.

MAULIDUR RASUL ===> 12 RABIULAWAL 1434/24 JANUARI 2013



This stuff is what I have copied from a FB post.
For my personal reference in later time.
For us.

Once you asked, But once given, U never care.

Maulud jatuh hari ini.
Day in which the muslim reminisce n flash back all the prophet's sacrifices.
Sama dengan tarikh kelahirannya.
Hari ni juga public hols.
Aku xbuat apa2 melainkan tido lambat n bangun lambat.
The least I'm doing is berpuasa n berselawat sikit2 (we're doing this everyday anyway).
Sungguh tiada penghayatan yg intense.

Sedikit kesal di hati, kononnya bertanya2
Kenapa pihak institut aku x wat program?
Xde perarakan? Maybe bukan hari ini programmnya kot.
Cuz last year, it was held on the other day.
Tapi ada ceramah di sebelah malam.
Xpulak aku nak rasa nak pergi.
Bila xada program, sibuk nak soal2...
Bila da ada dibuat, xpulak sibuk nak join kan?

Sebenarnya, maybe kita sedia maklum, hari ni spesel,
Tapi lau xada apa2, like macam tiada pulak orang yang ambil pusing.
So, pada aku macam mana sekalipun , mesti kena ada something.
Aku ne cakap je pandai, cuba suruh aku yg organize program,
0.01% success pun belum tentu lagi.

Ceramah is somthing yg sgt2 bagus. Even kita digalak pergi majlis ilmu. Stated clearly in hadith.
In my case, aku yg negative n need some help.
Ceramah, talks, sume2 ne doesnt work on me.
Xaku sembang dgn member sebelah, layan phone or layan kantuk lam masjid.
Adala sikit2 yg aku dengar. Ingat? adala berapa percent.
Xde inisiatif nak catat kan.
An advice says,
   
  "Do not look at the presenters, but look at what they are going to present. 
   The "what" might be something very valuable."

Untuk perkara mcm ne, I know its me who need to change.
Attitude cam harom.
Cuba kalau aku yg bagi ceramah n buat camne aku.
Orang buat bodo. No respect.
I would feel the pang on my face, my heart.
Surely.

Perkara ne sama je mcm fiil manusia2 kat Malaysia ne...
Ramai yg suka pertikai, bring up issue
Kenapa x buat dasar ini, program itu,
Tapi bila betul2 dibuat
Berapa kerat je yang betul2 turun padang n join the program.
Kecoh je lebih.
Time nak leceh2 x mau.
Taula nak berarak tue kena berpeluh2...duduk ramai,
Kena buat banner, prepare itu ini

Maybe orang kita suka pegang pada prinsip
"Asal Ada,". Kot.
Tapi bila ada, xde pun nak buat sungguh2.
Or biarla orang lain yg buat.

I am a coward.

"I'm.... actually....a coward.
When I watch horror movies, I don't have the courage to open my eyes.
If I go to a high place, my legs will shake.
But for me, the most scary thing is when I CAN'T SEE YOU."

- Song Jong Ki's word for Song Ji Hyo on RM ep.15


Well, can I use these words?
Can you feel what am I trying to express?

You...
Are you reading...?
Can you feel...?

Stigma-tized.

Stigma is a feeling of disapproval for something or someone.
Yu oredi have this negative perception towards that particular one until whatever they do, you don't even have a single liking, even if they do you good.
Xmunasabah sunggoh kan. ish2. But it happens (:

At my study place, ada kes2 kami di-stagmatized.
Mungkin itulah, mereka x cukup kenal kami, sampai ada unsur2 x ummph camne.
Ada label yg kata batch aku ne problematic, maybe sebab ramai.
Ada yang kata kami cocky sebab amik course BI, yang kononnya up sikit dari course lain.
Oh kemon, kita sama saja...
Aku pun xpaham why certain men went wow bila aku cakap..oh Im doing English..
Wow.dia budak TESL...
The ugly fact is that kami sume ne masih belajar kot,
Cakap kompem la uh-ah-uh-ah, tue belum bab grammar, kejap past, kejap present, suka hati kitorg ah asal ada bunyi org puteh tue bolehla pass...ahaha
Agaknya camne la budak medik rasa bila aku wow-kan dorang...
Habis tue mcm mana pada profesion yg bukan doc? Pakcik alam flora pun deserve a wow ok..
We people just dunno how to value ourselves that we only see other's people specialities.
We adore them until we sometimes forget where we stand.

Oh ya, going thru this whole stigma stuff, my class r having tough time.
Aku boleh cakap tough bila ada air mata yg dah mengalir. Boleh tahan crybabies gak semuanya. haha!
Our challenge is to confront with demanding lecturer.
Perfection is xpectation.
Always agreeing is mandatory.
Tho the thing is not always right. How irrational.

Aku punya pengalaman. Aku present kat depan.
Isu yg kami diskus...is something...n time setting dia is BEFORE zaman penjajahan.
And clasmet aku ne maybe dia x perasan, dia p ulas DURING the zaman.
So, bila dah salah setting, aku tegorla dia...its normal la lao mamai2 lam kelas mcm ne..
And the whole class laughed kot, no hard feeling pun n kitorg pun mmg da biasa gelak2 mcm ne...xstress, happy.
Tiba2 dia...blurted out..."korang buat apa ne? Asal kamu potong dia cakap?"
"Oh...sebab dia x perasan kot...perkataan SEBELUM tue..saya ingatkan aje..."
Tiba2 satu kelas kena bebel...isu...xrespek orang punya idea..nais..

2nd case, was maybe bcuz of boredom, maybe jugak salah kitorg, maybe niat sebenar baik nak elak ngantuk, ada member of the class yg main bingo n pass notes during the class.
And lecturer yg eagle-eyed ne spotted 'em, terus panggil depan kelas, kena bebel...
"Awak tahu hukum karma, awak buat saya mcm ne, awak akan dapat double triple super ble2 dri student awak. Awak tunggu je lah harinya"-ayat ne aku alter sikit. hehe.

3rd case, a lecturer has the authority to advice, to scold, but not to put down or humiliate people, esp in front of others.
Pardon me if I misunderstood your doing and intention.
Tapi apa yang aku nampak ialah teguran2 itu nmpak mcm ingin menjatuhkan.
And the words used punya tahap kelaseran yg agak tinggi sehingga boleh terhiris hati2 yg senipis kulit bawang ne.
"Awak xpaham arahan saya ke. Awak nak saya guna bahasa apa ya agak2 baru leh paham?"
So cynical.

4th...cukuplah... (:

Anyway, aku cakap kami di-stigma sebab masa our 1st interaction lagi dia dah awal2 cakap yg kami ne bermasalah.
"Saya xpenah ajar batch awak ne, tapi saya DENGAR cerita batch awak ne ada macam2 problem."
The problem is, u have just LISTENED.
Proved yet?
Belum kan? Tapi kau macam dah percaya.
We don't even start, you have already giving it up. :(

Well, xkenal maka xcinta.
Jemput kenal kami dulu, berilah peluang.

Mungkin kami pun xberapa kenal anda.
So, let us give each other chances. (:

Quote best Pecah (Novel Fixi).

"Makan ubat serupa macam minta tangguh, Siapa aku mahu minta tempoh dari Tuhan?"

"Hidup itu ikhtiar, mati itu takdir. Biar sibuk dengan ikhtiar, jangan sibuk dengan takdir."

"Hospimart. (Hospital Market) > Penuh buku. Penjaga baca novel, isi sisa masa. Pesakit baca buku agama, isi sisa hidup."



Sori bro Khairulnizam Bakeri.
Barang baik, tu pasal nak kopi, eh bukan...nak abadikan kat sini. Haha.

Perangai Jahanam Gadis ini.

1. Cakap pusing2. Kadang2 sampai tahap diri sendiri pun xpaham.

2. Punya suka dengar orang bercerita n tanya habis2an pasal something tue n malas nak research sendiri or google. Lepas tue lau kena tipu, padanla muka sendiri.

3. Avid-postponer. Selagi x besok tue dateline, selagi tue kita beronok-ronok dulu.Tapi ne kadang2 or about sumtin yg aku xsuka. Lao aku really keen in, i finish faster than time.

4. Avid-avoider. Selagi boleh elak kerja, elak elak elak, sorok sorok sorok diri agar x kena appoint. Tapi bila da appointed, sy buat sehabis baik au au au. Bukan auta.

5. A gadis with second thought. Mula2 da decide. Final. Lepas tue, pikir macam, ubah lagi decision. Final no.2. Lepas tue..eh nak balik la...Final no.3....and the list goes on. So, Indecisive.

6. Masuk mall, amik satu barang, sampai tempat lain, ah xnak la barang ne, lari bajet, letak merata kat mana2 tempat asal x kena nampak dgn store worker yg kerja susun2 barang tue lao x, nanti kena sumpah direct2. tapi aku ok lagi...x penah la pulak letak pakaian dalam2an kat tempat frozen food. kah3.

7.Aku x ingat, sambung len kali.

This post is so NEGATIVE ish ish ish

Baby is gone, happily. :')

Well handsome kiddo d5100 SOLD.
Alhamdulillah.
Live a better life. (:
Our memories will always live together.

Thanks to mudah.my for the damn cool advertising.
Less than 24 hours, I got one stable customer
and I break the heart of 3 incoming potential customers.
Fast deal bebeh!
Xyah pakai servis Mark Zuckenberg dah au.

N my last-time post baby got quite a hi pageviews, almost 60. vavau-lah!

N big thanks to cool buyer.
Normal for a guy with profession to look at me n my friends with the "dorang ne budak2 lagi"-look.
Despite that, you are cool enough to sit down with us, talk, dealing, joking, easy n relaxing business
N thank you for listening intently to all my advices n do's n don'ts of taking care baby!
Thanks fo not being judgemental pada student n budak2 cam kami.
Nothing can we do about our physical and pembawakan. eh eh eh.

N bigger thanks fo my supporters, driver, my p.a, my cash-checker lol

N thanks to Him fo making this deal a success.
Smooth flow lubricant like!

Finding new owner. :') SOLD

Handsome kiddo aite?
Me letting this sweetheart go for good price
After all our sweet moments.

-> Want To Sell / WTS <-- span="span">
【ITEM(s)】 NIKON D5100 DSLR
【Package includes】Body,
                              18-55mm AF-S lens, 
                              4gb SONY Memory Card Class 10, 
                              HAIDA UV Filter (Added),
                              Charger,
                              Golden box and small accessories. Complete set.
                              Screen has been TINTED. Cleaning Accesories like blower and Wiping Cloth included.
【Price】RM 1650
【Warranty】Nil
【Dealing method】COD or POST
【Seller's location】Ipoh, Perak
【Contact method/details】
【Age of item(s)】6 months.
【Item(s) conditions】11/10. Tip Top. In great care.
【Reason for sale】Funding.
【SC】5K.


Korang leh review sendiri n baca spec dia kat:

http://www.nikon.com.my/en_MY/product_details.page?DCRPath=templatedata/en_MY/saleable_product_information/data/Digital%20SLR%20Cameras/D5100.xml&CategoryID=gp11zl1l

http://snapsort.com/cameras/Nikon-D5100

Personally recommended, and ada menang award best beginner DSLR model lagi tue, wa cakap lu.
6 bulan dengan dia, serius aku jatuh cinta.
Here is one of OUR masterpieces....haha...ne SOCC. No Edit2 k.

Layan kan warna n sharpness dia?

Model ne jugak best sebab dia ada macam2 features syok like miniature, cartoon effect, n u can straight edit n crop n macam2 dari dalam cam.
efek yang syok is SELECTED COLOR, in which kau hanya hi-lite, warna2 yang kao kenan je. like RED standing out daripada background yang hitam.
Kau nak buat bibir hitam pun boleh. HAHA.

Nampak x aku highlight warna apa je tue?

Honestly, I am letting this good pal go after thousand times thinking and considering and dilly-dallying.
Jujur, punyala sayang nak jual kot.
Aku punyala banyak moment n great shots I got because of this handsome pal.

Tapi memikirkan praktikaliti DSLR yang kinda berat untuk aku yang pemalas n selalu sengal2 badan n lasak pulak tue, aku rasa cam yg lebih ringan or compact would do a better job for me.

So, find yourself a better reliable owner and have a good life, shoot cool best pics!

The gila people. Unexpected.

One time we easily got so clicked,
Another we just lose it.
Satu kepala yang biasa gila2
Sampai masa ada juga gaduh bagai nak gila.
XD

Still...we can learn from this..
"Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back back, back back, back to the start."

Public Darul Trouble.

Tandas awam. Public transport. Pakwe/ Awek awam. Eh?
Ikut knowledge, semua orang waras greatly understood kot apa maksud awam ne.
Semua yang ada dalam satu2 kelas or komuniti or tempat or negara or region to berhak ke atas sesuatu kemudahan setelah kemudahan itu dilabel sebagai AWAM.
Kau boleh...so aku pun boleh la..sama2 ada hak....that concept...
Tapi x semua orang boleh tunjukkan in action how greatly they understood what a public property means.

Malaysia yg terkenal dgn 3rd class mentality nya aku xpayah nak ulas lagi kot.
Semua orang tau dah kot kenapa kalau2 rakyat tanah tumpah darahku ne suffer from batu karang.
So, I would shrink the matter down to kejiranan aku.
Facilities tahap zero, bukan nak komplen saja2...tengok saja dah tau...apa lagi aku yg hadap hari2...
Usia punya lama, ala2 Harry Potter style, bangunan warisan lah katakan.
So far aku ok, syukur I can keep up, even mulut aku bebel2 jugak. haha.
Cuz pada aku biarlah tahap facilities ko mcm mana sekalipun, tapi asal ko tau make the best of it, everything wud be fine...(Ok...kadang2 ne kurang realisitk)
Serupa macam ne lah, kao xde duit, tapi kao leh happy, sebab kau just bersyukur dgn apa yg kau ada...
Tapi time ko pegang duit, macam2 ko nak beli kan? mcm2 ko nak makan kan? cam2 tempat ko nak travel kan? sume ne ko da plot lam kepala la....

Masalah crops up bila tandas n bilik air kejiranan aku old skool ditambah dgn hardcorenya kami guna facilities tue.
Satu, air kecik (slow waterflow)
Bila air kecik, ko amik masa lama nak siapkan bisnes kao.
Amik masa lama, orang len bengang tunggu kao.
Sebab zaman skrg ne semuanya kiasu.

Dua, perangai cop mengecop.
Letak baldi or lempar tuala kat pintu bilik air.
Ini sign 'RESERVED :  NO ENTRY' ah kononnya.
Bukan untuk lepas tekak diri sendiri je tapi tuk roomet tersayang.
Ini sangat inconsiderate bila kau berkongsi dgn satu kejiranan yg ada puluh2 members tapi ada 3 bilik air.
Perangai2 ne kadang2 aku malas layan, bila desperate, aku buat bodoh je kat baldi yg ada depan pintu tue. At least aku xsepak ok ah. It should be like " First come, First Serve punya concept lah." Haiya.

Tiga, perangai semua bisnes nak setel lam bilik air.
Cuci muka, gosok gigi, gosok segala, pakai baju dan anak2nya
Semua bantai nak buat dalam tue. Amalan ne boleh nak apply kalao kita xbersharing or kao x mandi kat PEAK HOURS.
BTW, aku sedia paham sebab kejiranan kami bukan terdiri dari semua yang muslim, jd batasan aurat agak kena jaga. So ada yang terpaksa took a longer time to get dress up inside.
Aku? Hmmm....

Empat, semua bantai nak guna facility time PEAK HOURS.
Pukul 7 pagi n 7 malam adalah waktu feberet kejiranan aku bersidai kat perkarangan water closet warisan kitorang tue.
Jadilah jam and long q untuk kami.
Hal ini boleh dielak, jika ada yang beralah nak bangun awal, mandi awal dan segalanya awal.
Masalahnya, aku pun x sebagus mana nak jadi seawal itu, aku pun turut serta dalam kemeriahan ini.

Lima, kedengaran agak kotor, yes it is JIJIK. Disgusting enuf. Warning!
Arkitek lama2 design bilik air HP ne in a way, lubang dia hanya ada dekat bilik air terhujung.
Which means, air dari bilik air pertama, akan lalu pada bilik air kedua, n next disalurkan n next as in my case akan sampai pada bilik air ketiga.
N air yang lalu tue sudah tentulah bukan air mutlak tapi air terpakai. Benda macam ne xleh nak dielak, so love it, hate it, ko redha je lah. Melainkan ko komplen kat pihak atasan dia nak layan dia kasi roboh kita wat bathroom baru.
Tapi benda yang xtahan is, bila benda tue senang je, someone make shit, terus jadi trouble.
Aku xpaham how not civil ada manusia yang boleh pee in the bathroom, Yes, pee. Lagi haram lao dia duduk kat bilik air No.1.
Tiba2 ada cecair keemasan lalu dekat the channel masa kau2 tgah feel mandi.
Lepas tue pass pulak kat bilik air sebelah sampailah cecair tue menjumpai jalan keluar bila dia jumpa lubang.
How gross is that sight.
Entahlah. Manusia yg buat onar kat bilik air no.1 tue x tau malu kot kat manusia bilik air no.2 n 3. Haru2.

Enam, perangai suka abuse pad sanitary punya bin.
Bilik air pompuan je eksklusif ada menda ne, tapi korang kenal kot camna rupanya.
Beselah bin, fungsi dia telan benda2 kotor dengan tujuan nak kasi bersih persekitaran kau.
Tapi bila kau salah guna, kau buang dengan cara kurang civil, maka trouble trouble trouble come visiting.
Yknow, pad got some of sticky part tuk dilekat2...bila ada yang pakai buang bogel camtue aje, payahlah...some dont bother nak balut dgn paper or any proper plastic...so part2 sticky ne akan melekat kat top part of the bin n berkumpul kat situ..so nampak macam bin tue dah penuh la...padahal kat bawah tue kosong...tue agak musykil, semalam bin tue kosong, baru ganti, the next day, tgok2 dah penuh.
I was like...Peh, holiday sungguh jiran2 aku.
Orang yang selerenggara bin pad ne pulak kosongkan bin tu once a week je.
So selalunya overload lah bin tue...melimpah ruah bawa ke lantai... :(
So dah tak achieve objective. FAIL

Tujuh, perangai harcore mcm WWE punya gegel. haha!
Ganas weh, terlebih energy punya pasal kot.
Paip patah, pintu kopak, lantai pecah, name it! macam2 ada.
Hahaha. Okay blame how old the bathroom is.

I think I had enough elaboration about the issue.
The word Public should come with RESPONSIBLE, TOLERANCE, AND CONSIDERATION.
But how percent of that is really taking place in our society?

Post-Crying

Mata perempuan sangat cantik lepas dia nangis.
So puppy eyes.
Sayu, kesian
The whole face even.
Hidung dia merah, sambil dia sedut2 srot3 bunyi hingus tue.
Tapi dia still senyum.
Comel rasanya.

*Wink at Mirror*

Of being Realistic, not Idealishit. 2

There is one lecturer taught us on learning theory.
Maybe salah satu teori nak mengajar ne ialah kena SENTIASA bermuka manis n tersenyum agar anda kelihatan mesra n x menakutkan. (THE IDEA)
So, dia pun apply lah kat kitorg.
Senyum je sepanjang lecture sampai kitorg tertanya2 dia ni x reti nak marah ke?
Cuz aku kat belakang duk nguyah2 biskut...
Member aku  duk (ok ada bermacam2 aktiviti to be honest)
But as a sense of respect, kitorg buat undercover la benda2 ne...
N kalau dia tanya kitorg respon baik punya
Tho sometimes, we people bagi 20% concentration je pada kelas dia.
Itu pun da kira banyak pada aku.
Tapi ikut realistiknya, teori pembelajaran dia fail lah kan, cuz kitorg bukan la sepenuhnya engaged lam her class...instead kitorg buat benda len. KEKE.

Sigh.
Aku tau komplen je.
Sampai turn aku pulak nti, karma shoots back double or even more.
Welcome hell.

Anyway her perseverance to
KEEP CALM N KEEP SMILING WHILE LECTURING
is something to be adored (:

Of being Realistic, not Idealishit.

Orang in love selalu came up dengan benda2 bullshit.
They are some bunch of MAD MAD PEOPLE.
Dorang x make sense n irrational.
Contohnya:
Lautan berapi sanggup ku renangi.
Itu super-hyperbole terlampau.

As in my case,
Ada orang cakap,

"If somebody truly loves you, they are willing to do EVERYTHING for you as long as you are happy."

Statement ne pada aku 50-50.
Betul n Bullshit.

Betul sebab ko akan berusaha sedaya upaya to maintain n keep up the relationship till the extend ko trust n share almost everyting, spend on dia, beli hadiah, bawak p jalan2, topup, calls, dari sorg yg kaku ko tiba2 if pandai melawak such n such. Serba sedikit ko akan berubah as you are trying to fit in dengan dia. Kira banyak la labur n berkorban ne. Fuh.

Bullshit sebab kadang2 bila you go against nature (Kadang2 ada situation ko xleh nak control - contoh mcm ko x dpt permit nak g date, or hari ko nak outing tu ada ribut petir la pulak), or trying too hard.
benda2 ne jadi macam satu bentuk pembaziran lak, in monetary terms, masa, n such. Nanti ko letih.

Ko bayangkan. Ko keje from 9-5.
Ko balik2 kena drive lagi. Rumah ko jauh.
Sampai umah, xde orang nak sambut. Ko kena masak tuk dinner.
Nak beli boleh aje, tapi kadang2 mana la ko nak tahan hadap makanan2 yg dahla x berapa nak sihat, mahal pulak tue.
Lepas tue nak urus umah lagi, urus diri, prepare tuk keje next day.
Sampai kadang2 ko nak ada masa tuk diri sendiri pun payah.

Aku yg student, yg dikatanya ada banyak masa free (lum sampai musim nak bz lagi memang ah)
pun kadang2 letih dengan jadual yg pack cam tin sardin. And kalao ada hari yg free n xde heavy subject, time tue la nak buat something tuk diri sendiri.
Ada masa, untuk aku lah...aku rasa punya la malas n demotivated...sampai nak bercakap pun malas...aku la tue... arrrgh...

Thats why kadang2...bila aku x dapat steady good moment..like nafkah calls or mesej....aku cool.
Pada aku...orang yang cakap

"No matter how buzy you are, you will still allocate a time for your loved ones"

Again, 50-50

Ada hari aku letih nak mati, aku kalao boleh xnak bercakap dengan dia.
Ko pun tau bila ko not in a good mood. Physically, mentally n emotionally tired, ko buat apa pun xjadi.
Kalau boleh aku nak tunggu time yang I CAN GIVE ALL MY BEST to make a damn good rocking moment with them.
Ko dah letih half dead walking zombie, ko lagi nak pegi spend good time dgn dia? Silap2 ko buat dia jadi lauk makan malam. Bila ko letih, yu tend to reflect to others. So, baik pegi tido recharge battery.

But again, ada masa, bila aku rindu, aku buat 60second call je tuk dengar suara dia(or mereka), n everything goes well, n I wish Good Night, as simple as that.

And kadang2, bila dia (or mereka) make an effort to call, even how letih yu are, ko xkan tunjuk n ko pun fake-kan suara ko, so that he knows you are well.
Benda ne aku selalu buat kat ibu, tapi kuasa PSIKIK
seorang ibu, she knows straight away when her daughter feels K.O. Mang xleh sorok la plus aku fail menipu.So my point is.
WE NEED TO BE REALISTIC
INSTEAD OF IDEALISTIC.

Ko boleh bgtau org yg ko syg yang ko boleh TERBANG merentas masa semata2 nak spend good moment together sedangkan masa tue ko ada komitmen dengan esaimen x siap lagi n besok lak tue nak kena hantar.
So awal2 lagi ko dah x realistik.
Tapi ko bagi idea pada si dia yang shuweet2 aje
that everything gonna happen well, like I will be there for you like no matter happen.
Sedangkan, idea tue ko nak REALISASIKAN PUN X BOLEH, kalao ikut logik.

Cuma, selalunya best jadi idealistic ne, semua yang keluar, semuanya manis2. ^___^
Well, depends.

Label for Malaysian Students ku oh.

Aku student.

Aku malas.

Baca pun malas.

Masuk kelas ngantuk. 

Suka port belakang.

Isnin we got this Monday's blues lah konon.

Lecturer bebel kat depan, kitorg bebel jugak sekali kat belakang.

Xpun diam layan ngantuk.

Lepas tue lecturer tanya...

Paham ke?

Kami hangguk kan aje

Maybe betul2 paham, paham2, buat2 paham or langsung xpaham

So many degrees of understanding.

N then lecturer open up discussion

minta idea...or TAGIH idea...

Semua diam...

Lecturer komplen...

"What has gotten into you guys?"

Demotivated n pemalas gilaaaaaa. Sumpah.

It happens.

Sometimes. Some people, It definitely is occurring.

Kadang tue bukan kami x tau.

Sometimes ada blues, mood, 

Entah ke kami prob...Homesick ke...who knows?

BTW

MALAYSIAN STUDENTS ARE ALWAYS PICTURED IN THESE KIND OF WAYS:

1. Passive

2. MELAYU = MALAS

3. Lazy to / Do not bother / Do not have awareness to read

4. " to ask

5. " to voice out ideas

6. " to voice out DISSATISFACTION. They would rather talk among themselves. KUTUK2 session. Fuh, lagi sedap jumpa orang yang sekepala, mcm2 dia tembak. In the end, masalah x selesai jugak, maka dia kutuk2 lah lagi. Kutuk je lebih, counter attack xde. How coward kan.

7. PEMALU. Blergh. Kadang2 malu x kena tempat

8. Ikut orang. Pengaruh kawan2 ne kuat. Lao kawan dia diam, dia pun diam. Lao kawan dia join n nak bagi idea, dia pun sibuk2lah nak tolong habiskan ayat tue.

9. Kurang tahu ISU. Suka bukak FACEbook dari portal2 berfaedah.

The Art in Me.

Left or right? or Up or bottom? Lol
Yang bawah, yg nampak retard tue aku lukis n modify.
Yang epal perfekto tue, model aku, Aku print bnw.
Basically, aku x lukis sangat pun, aku TIRU je. Tapi x menjadi the exact 100% la.
Quite importantly, aku xdela smpai TEKAP. Tue lagi hina. EH? lol,


Super disaster. Big time challenge.
This sem ada subjek seni since we guys big probably r doing art for our minor.
Aku yang tangan keras cam kayu terpaksa meleburkan tangan tuk kelembutan ayu demi membolehkan lukisan aku dihadam dan diterima ramai n yang penting lecturer, the big boss.

Oh ya...
Aku agak underestimate my ability.
History said aku penah sekali (or maybe twice) dpt A lam, subjek PSV
So, aku x konfiden aku leh master this course.

Tapi3...
After all it is not that bad...
Banyak benda leh kao belajar.

Aku x berapa malu nak tayang hasil aku yg x seberapa
Cuz I know I have tried my best
Tapi3..
aku malu nak tayang the behind the scene penghasilan sesuatu karya itu
Malu org tengok the hardship, I shed blood n tears kah3
Nampak seksa n susah payah sgt nak siapkan sumtin.
So, yg tue xleh tunjuk, Nti kantoi la betapa x cool nya aku. har3.

Lagi satu aku belajar about there's nothing PERFECT.
Y'know..bila ko lukis masa zaman muda mudi2 dulu...
lukis nak perfek je...epal tue simetri...sama je...xde cacat celanya...
Cam lam gambar KARTUN
Maybe dorg wat camtu sebab nak bagi gambaran yang mudah to kids, this is how an apple looks like

Tapi bila aku perati n lukis balik betul2
N lukis as orang dewasa, which is lebih REALISTIK ah kononnya
I realized ada banyak imperfection
Contoh bentuk dia x simetri,
Besar kanan, kecik kiri, berulat, ada kena gigit, x rata, yada yada yada
And you will value those imperfections more.
KOT.
hehe. (:

The Revival.

Old blog. Old layout. Old same person writing.

But,

Less hassle, less shit (I'm not sure)

After done with 'spring cleaning'.

Mual aku tengok post2 lama.

Ada comel, ada gedik, ada mengada, semuanya menyumbang kepada kemuntahan,

Still, two posts was succesfully saved.

Posts tue ada value, sayang pulak nak buang.

Yang childish talks tue all successfully flushed down the bin with just a click.

Ada rasa2 nak menulis kat blog org malas a.k.a Tumblr.

Tapi, blog ne layout dia semua, aku design sendiri kot, (eleh copy paste html je pun)

Before ada lagu pic so n so yg konon2nya benda2 comel.

Now, aku delete all those stuff, serabut I must say.

Blog ne ada value somehow to me.

From 2009 until now. Tukar url, gaining followers. sampai chatbox pun aku revived.

All in all, ada rasa sayang.

So, I will be writing back in here.

Whenever I feel like doing so.

And, about not writing in a childish manner, I can't guarantee.

Alah orang tua pun ada masa time feel cam budak2 jugak.

It's just right. Feels right. Perfect.